What is wrong with you all? Have you forgotten about MacGyver?!
All it takes to solve this problem is one of each of the following:
- Paper clip
- Rubber band
Once you have secured the above items, follow these steps:
- Unwind the paper clip and STAB the bagel where you will begin cutting it. Then proceed to saw your way through it and around it until you have a nice bagel cut in two. Pop these two slices in the toaster.
- Dismantle the pen, leaving only the long housing piece. Wash this piece and dry it.
- Once your bagel is done toasting, spread your desired spreads on the bagel using your clean spreader from the previous step.
But wait... what about the rubber band, you say? To be honest, we'll have to ask MacGyver why we'd need a rubber band here! Nonetheless, this is as MacGyver-like as it gets without the real MacGyver. For the meantime, I guess you can just wear the rubber band around your wrist as a bracelet as you eat your tasty bagel.
P.S. After you've devoured your meal, bend paper clip back in place, wash the pen housing piece and reassemble the pen, take off your rubber band bracelet, and return these three items to their places before anyone finds evidence of what took place and starts hailing you as the office hero!