Is there anything I can do to soften my beard from home? Should I use some softening cream & iron(hope that word is correct) my beard?
I'm not clear whether you mean to soften it before shaving (in which case, steam) or whether you just want a softer feeling beard. If the latter, wash it with shampoo and then apply hair conditioner, combing it through, rinse it off, and when its dry, use hair straighteners if you want to stop it being curly (if by 'iron' you actually do mean smoothing out or de- creasing with heat). In theory, you could use an iron and board, but its a bit risky - hard to get the temperature right and avoid burning your skin.
I use jojoba oil on mine. The fancy beard oils are usually a jojoba oil base with nice scents added for effect. After I wash the beard I pat it dry, brush out the remaining droplets, oil it liberally with my fingers, then comb it.