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I like munching celery at work, but I don't want to annoy my co-workers. Today, I cut my celery into 1-inch (bite-sized) pieces so I don't have to loudly bite it off from the stalk. How else could I eat celery (or carrots or tortilla chips) quietly?

  • 5
    In an anechoic chamber of course! In case you don't have one of those at work, you could simply put some vocal isolators around your head or build an almost closed isolator yourself and stick your head in that. – Alex May 28 '15 at 13:38
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    Quiet workplaces are suck. Well, when it's multiple people next to each other that is. Are you allowed to play music? Make other things nosier , then it will draw less attention to eating loud foods. If you can't play music, or make anything else nosier, than just eat loudly , don't care what others may think. It's the managements fault for providing bad work environment and not enclosed offices, etc. Maybe they'll allow music or stuff if you annoy them enough. – CRABOLO May 29 '15 at 7:37
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    the best way would be to first fill your mouth with water or some other drink and then take a bite, there would be sound only while taking the bite, once you have done it, the sound would be mostly muffled. – Anuj Kaithwas Jun 21 '16 at 10:18
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    Something to consider: In a study I read, people who eat/prefer the crunchy types of foods you outline in your post are characterized as intellectual and action-oriented and those who eat/prefer soft foods as sensual, wanting comfort and acceptance. Maybe your craving for noisy foods to nibble is a subconscious reaction to your work or work environment. Can you satisfy your natural sense of "push" in another way while at work until you get to a different environment? – Stan Jun 22 '16 at 22:45
  • @Stan Wow, interesting study! I'll think about that. BTW, I only munch loud foods occasionally, and my nearest coworker left for a different job, so I'm not really bothering anyone currently. But I'm going to consider the study results you provided with regards to my job satisfaction!! – BrettFromLA Jun 23 '16 at 17:14

10 Answers 10

20

Make sure your mouth is closed completely. You can bite slowly, which might sound quieter, though it is really just enlongating the sound.

17

This trick only really works with chips, and might also be a bit unappetizing. Put the chip in your mouth, and don't bite it right away. Let it soften a little from your saliva. It won't taste quite as crunchy, but it also won't sound so crunchy.

After that, bite more slowly with your mouth fully closed, as Doug said.

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    try using your tongue instead of your teeth for the first break of the chip, its fun and not as noisy – Just Do It Jun 21 '16 at 20:38
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    Bur crunchiness is 90% of the appeal of chips! – moonstar Jun 6 '17 at 4:07
9

Blend it in a blender. Chips require you to also add some salsa or in general a "wet" component, celery or carrots don't.

Carry it to work in a container of some kind and use a spoon to eat.

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    Nasty! But it would actually solve the problem. "Pringles Potato Paste" - yum? – BrettFromLA May 28 '15 at 16:47
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    "Blending chips" - completely unorthodox solution. But I wouldn't eat powdered chips. – Kishore May 29 '15 at 5:33
  • @Kishore that's why you put some dip with it. – Pieter B May 29 '15 at 6:41
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    Good idea! I'll just bring my blender to work and- oh. – Praxis Ashelin May 29 '15 at 8:09
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    @BrettFromLA If you consume it through an ng tube you can avoid gross taste or mouth-feel. Bonus: Have coworkers insert tube as a team-building exercise. – Captain Obvious May 29 '15 at 12:52
8

To me, this is more of a manners question, as crunchy foods are meant to be crunched. So, offer some chips (etc.) to your workmates before snacking. Explain they are welcome to any and apologize for any 'ravenous munchings' they might overhear from your cube. Then devour like a Cookie Monster. They'll find you charming & amusing. In my cube environ, I used to slowly pour my water from bottle to mug, gradually increasing the distance for volume, then topping it all off with little splooshing sounds. It's a great (rare occasion) groggy-Friday-afternoon activity that always got some giggles. Then I'd watch to see who was the first inspired to hit the bathroom.

3

You don't mention if the foods must be raw. If you can cook them first it will soften foods like carrots and other crunchy vegetables and they will no longer be crunchy.

  • I don't think he was planning to cook the tortilla chips! – Chenmunka Nov 22 '16 at 14:27
  • True enough, though when I answered the question it was about carrots, not including tortilla chips :D. Also, not related, but hot tortilla chips are incredibly good :P – SumGuy Nov 22 '16 at 16:54
1

For chips, crisps, tortillas and etc, press them against the roof of your mouth using your tongue. The softness of the tongue will help to suppress the crunch noise. Then eat normally. Those foods shapes are specially engineered to do the crunch sound, so that's a quiet way to get rid of the shape first, then eating.

For celery, first slice in pieces. Place a piece in between your last teeth, empty the air from your mouth, then bite slowly. Same theory as above, get rid of the crunchy shape. Just be careful to not bite your cheek. After the first bite, finish it normally.

1

it really works with the chips.

  • If you are taking it out from a packet then open it wide. so that you dont mess your hand with the salt.
  • take single piece and put it completely inside your mouth. wait.. dont just start biting it.
  • close your mouth completely and try to make your tongue as close as possible to the lower layer of the chips slice.
  • then crush it by pressing it upwards with your tongue. this will make the slice more moist and also the sound produced by biting it with tooth is much higher then that of tongue.
  • so once it is crushed for the first time. then you can eat it how ever you want.

enjoy munching.......

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    This really just duplicates existing answers. – Chenmunka Jun 29 '16 at 12:11
-1

The only practical answer is either don't eat them at work, or go outside or the lobby, or stop caring so much about what people think. If eating carrots and chips at work is a problem, you either work at a library or you guys are emotionally repressed by your work environment.

-1

Suck on the crisp then push it against the roof of your mouth bite and it'll sound quieter

-1

Care less about others and enjoy your life, including all the crunchy foods.

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    I disagree, it is definitely an appropriate answer. Caring less about what others will think while someone chomps celery is a way better solution than to cook celery or blend it. I don't need further clarification, but thanks. – StevenXavier Sep 18 '17 at 13:34

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