Sometimes I just want to scream at people "I know what I'm talking about!". Ideally, I'd like a more polite way of saying this that won't be taken offensively, and can be said at the beginning of a call to avoid the "have you tried turning it off and on again" and similar portions.
I have tried many things, including:
- "I know what I'm talking about" - is impolite, annoys them, doesn't work
- "Can you skip that part? I've already done that" - Sometimes it works, sometimes they don't believe me, sometimes they tell me they can't(‽)
- Purposefully dropping hints ranging from very subtle to not subtle at all
- "Shibboleet" - response is one of "What?", "Huh?", or "Sorry?"
- "Can I speak to a technician?" - response is either a large dollar amount per hour, "No", or a redirect to a supervisor
- "Can I speack to a supervisor?" - if I get a supervisor, they don't help anymore than the first person
And nothing seems to work. Either the message doesn't get across, or they don't believe me, or something. Since I've exausted all the conventional solutions, I've started looking into unconventional solutions (perhaps if I speak klingon to them?).
P.S. Is there a better name than "technical support call center worker"?