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102

When the cold caller asks for you, say "Just a moment, I'll get them." and then place the phone next to the stereo and let it play, like hold music. Every once in a while get back on in your best message machine voice and say "Your call is very important to us, please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order it was received." Having been ...


75

Print the telemarketing counterscript and keep it next to your phone. I don't know how much it annoys the caller, but it might make things more fun for you.


48

Well, this doesn't apply to the UK specifically but here's my approach: Never answer unsolicited calls from an unknown number. From anyone. Ever. Calls from a number that I don't recognize go straight to voice mail. If they don't leave a message, they'll never hear back from me. If it's important, they will either leave a message or find another way to get ...


46

The trick of how to kill flies is the approach rather than the item used. Flies have nearly 360 degree vision, so sneaking won't help. First, wait for them to land somewhere that you can strike against. Waving them towards an area can help, but isn't fully effective. Once it has landed on an acceptable area, approach the fly slowly, not making any sudden ...


43

Get an exterminator/pest control expert, especially if you are living close to other people. It is not just your problem if your natural remedy doesn't work, it is their problem too. The only effective way to stop an infestation is to attack it as strongly as possible as quickly as possible. This is not something you should try to lifehack your way out of.


42

There are already some good answers for how to get them out immediately. However, I have an alternate proposal: Wait until they leave on their own. They're there because there's food in there. As others have suggested, this is probably food or drink from your meals. If you let them work, they'll clean it for you by removing every trace of food. Once it's ...


38

To remove almost anything, the simplest and most effective way is to use an Aero Duster. These blast compressed air in under the keys and into all the nooks and crannies and will safely leave your keyboard ant-free. Of more importance is how to avoid ants deciding to colonise your laptop in the first place. You must have spilled something sweet in there at ...


36

Killing a mosquito is easy (as you can see in the other answers). Finding it is the hard part. This is the easiest way I've found of locating a mosquito. You need 2 light sources: a small lamp that will give enough light for you to move around the room. a powerful torch (flashlight) To find a mosquito: Switch off the lights, wait until you can hear the ...


34

Answer in a foreign language. For the cold caller it's usually not worth trying to communicate with someone who you share no common language, since they are usually on the clock to make commission.


31

Peanut butter is the best because they can't remove it from the trap: they have to crawl up there and WHAM they're gone. Needless to say, position the trap along the wall or wherever else they usually scurry. Another idea is, if you see the thing, use a shop-vac to suck it up.


29

First of all, make your job easier. Open the blinds/curtains at a window or turn on a single light to attract them to land on a smaller area. When closing in on them with your tool of choice, come in slightly behind them, since that's the direction in which they take off. Use a hand vacuum Use a rolled up magazine Use Windex or another glass cleaner (This ...


27

This is what I use: Make fly strips. Take a sticky tape, usually duct tape and stick it together to form double sided tape. Now hang it around, you can attach pieces of food to attract even more flies, but you have to throw them out because they may rot if left to long. Try using essential oils as a natural flyspray. These: Smells good and promote ...


23

I sound interested then say "Wait a moment, I have to take something off the stove". Then walk away. They hang up eventually. (I used to keep an emergency whistle by the phone - blowing it removes the eardrums of the caller. But that probably isn't legal and it annoyed the neighbours)


22

There is a simple trap you can make with: empty paper towel / toilet paper roll trash can peanut butter Instructions: Put a small dab of peanut butter on the inside of the roll on one end. Place the roll so that the end with the peanut butter is hanging over a counter (balanced over the edge) Place the trash can underneath the open edge of the roll. You ...


21

If you want a novel, legal and amusing way to discourage telemarketers, there's always Lenny. http://www.toao.net/595-lenny If you're really committed, set your number up with a premium rate for callers. You'll start to actually enjoy the calls, asking questions and stringing the telemarketer along. Though your friends and family might not find this so ...


20

Orange Marmalade. Really. maybe it was just those mice, but peanut butter or cheese took days. Marmalade I had one when I turned the lights off. Also placement is key. Mice like to travel against borders, edges of walls and appliances.


19

The reason that flyswatters are more effective than a magazine is because of the holes. Moving a newspaper, magazine or other flat object through the air very quickly actually creates a buffer of air moving in front of the object you're swiping with, which blows the fly out of the way. As well as avoiding the above, a flyswatter's holes enable it to move ...


18

I am from India. We have good sunlight almost year-round. If I were you, then I would simply put my laptop in the sunlight for 5-10 minutes. The ants will leave the keyboard because it will get too hot for them. Be careful with a plasma display - sunlight will harm it!


18

I have three fixes for this, with different results: As I am in the USA, my phone number has been on the Do Not Call list as long as the list has existed. I used to get good results reporting callers, but I think all the call centers have moved out of the USA, so this is no longer effective. As suggested in earlier responses "Please hold", put the phone ...


17

A way I usually use is: catch the fly, then throw it out the window (or a door. Or into a spider's web. Or smash it against the floor, if you feel particularly angry). To catch the fly, I use method 2 (of part two) described here. That is: Wait for the fly to land on a flat surface Position your hand 20-100 cm away, along the surface; make sure there is ...


15

One very amusing way to dismiss cold callers is to put on your best sultry voice and say; “I would be delighted to answer all of your question my dear, but this is a premium service and we will bill your number at a rate of £15 per minute. Is that ok, sweetie?” They hang up so fast.


14

I'm rather surprised I haven't seen it yet, so give it a chance before you write it off: rubber bands. Preferably the wider ones (1/4" or so). Just like you are back in elementary school snapping your friends, pull it back over your finger and let it fly. In 100% honesty, I find it easier to rid flies with this than with an actual flyswatter, I'm assuming ...


14

Heat, cold, and diatomaceous earth all kill bedbugs. Cold -- I've successfully rid a home of bedbugs by turning off the water, blowing out the pipes, pouring antifreeze in toilets, tanks, and u-traps, then opening the windows in January to let the house freeze (this in a northern climate). Temperatures in the house hovered between -20F and 40F for two ...


13

Now that's something which you can use to kill 1 mosquito. Just simply target it and use this racket and that's too in the middle of the night. Its not the only option but its just my recommendation: Mosquito Killing Racket Why to use this: Just because it is re-chargeable you can first charge it and keep it beside you and whenever you find any mosquito ...


12

We sucessfully banned ants from our home by using baking powder. Unlike us ants will explode from bubbles produced in their intestines when eating baking powder. But this will take enough time for them to carry soda fragments to their mates and their breed which will then effectively kill those as well. The place we put quite huge piles of baking powder (2-...


12

I have found that heating a metal teaspoon and pressing it against the bite provides almost instant and permanent relief from the itching (the redness and 'bump' will remain while the wound heals). Heat a teaspoon by pouring some hot water over the spoon side. I use boiling water from a kettle (which is WAY too hot) but allow it to cool down for several ...


11

Get a bug zapper. I've usually seen these on porches but we stayed at a cabin in mosquitoville and naturally some mosquitoes snuck in. The first night it was bzzzz bzzzz in my ear all night. The next night I found a bug zapper and hung it inside the cabin right by the door. I never heard another mosquito at night for the next six nights. The shock-racket is ...


11

I note you're in the UK, where, very recently, a landmark change has been made in the law written to protect consumers from this type of harassment. Link below to a report by the BBC, but you need to find out the name of the company which is calling, then tell them you're going to report them to the Information Commissioner's Office - I'm pretty sure they'll ...


11

Be creepy. Heavy breathing, asking someone if they wear a uniform, and so on will freak out most cold callers. Say "I inform you I am recording this conversation". Give the phone to your half-deaf grandparent with dementia, if you have one. Be borderline threatening, without crossing the border. Say as if you were talking to someone else in the room: "John ...


10

One thing that I find works with just about any insect is a soap spray. How stuff works recommends 1 to 2 tablespoons liquid soap per quart of water, but I kind of just wing it. I usually get a trigger-sprayer (like the kind Windex and other cleaners use only I buy them empty), dump some water and soap into it and shoot whatever insect needs taking out. The ...


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