A little bit of sandpaper can easily remove all the writing, and make it impossible to recreate. Since ink is surface deep (if you have an efficient printer), it takes only a couple seconds to scrub away all evidence. Although, your desk might not appreciate it. Use an old magazine, or scrap composite wood, or stone tiles, etc.
Probably not the easiest way ...
Feed the documents to a
Wait until the pig dies of old
have him humanely slaughtered (if such a thing is possible)).
Cremate the pig .
Have the pig's ashes turned into a
Pay $99 to send the diamond into
For added security, try to bribe someone to have the diamond launched into a decaying orbit which will ...