Concealing relatively small objects on my person

Question

I'm not sure this is 100% appropriate for this site since it isn't quite an everyday problem, but here goes.

Let's say that I have this special piece of jewelry that I have to show to the doorman of the secret organization I'm in, in order to enter the hideout. It is a 5×8×1 cm (2×3×0.4 inch) aluminium rectangle with our logo carved into it.

I need to carry it on me (everyday maybe), but, at the same time, nobody must see it. I need to conceal it in such a way that:

• It (or clues that might lead to it, like a necklace chain if I were to wear it as a necklace) is completely hidden/hidden in plain sight while I am wearing a regular outfit. For our purpose let's say shirt and jeans. It's perfectly fine if I can't hide it while in my underwear.

• I can access it relatively easily and quickly. I don't want any awkward situations with the doorman.

• It must be safe - both from pickpockets and accidents (someone bumps into me, I trip and fall etc.)

So how should I go about this?

PS: Both in clothes and in body hiding places work, as long as they abide the three rules.

PPS: No. Having the outline of the object show trough my shirt without any camouflage is not acceptable.

Answer 1

I can't tell from your 'nym if you are a male or female. If you are a female just stick it in your bra. I know a lot of girls who will store their phones in there and they don't find it awkward.

Answer 2

Idea

1. Make an armband out of something thin and strong (even a sock that has had the toe part cut off can work see image) and wear it on your bicep.
   
2. Make a pocket on the armband. The location of the pocket should be between your arm and torso.
   OR
   if you are using the sock idea, you can roll it up a bit and use that as the pocket.
3. Connect a chain to the object and attach the chain to the armband.
   OR
   You can tie the chain around the armband.
4. Place object in pocket of armband. Wear shirt over armband.

How to use
- Appear at door and reach into the neck of your shirt and pull out object.
- After entry, while walking place back in armband pocket (including chain, it will look like you have an itch)

Tip: Wear 1 on each arm to hide the indifference of your arms if it stands out alot

PS. Works best with long sleeves or vests/hoodies/coats.
PSS. You can make one for your thigh

Answer 3

Your given dimensions sound almost like a representation of a Space Odyssey Monolith (1×4×9, or 1²×2²×3²). Is your secret society perhaps the Arthur C. Clarke Fan Club? :-)

Joking aside, an object of the size you described would perhaps be of the size of a key fob. I think it would be easy to simply add it to a key ring, perhaps with some cover like a leather or plastic sheath (perhaps with a car maker's logo), if camouflage is deemed necessary. Which leaves the problem of pickpocketing. What if you attach the key ring, or simply the token itself, to your clothing with a sufficiently strong chain? Either the normal devices that people use for their keys/wallets (unsightly), or more clandestinely: pinned to the inside of you pocket with something like a safety pin?

A related idea is how gentlemen used to secure their pocket watches to their vests, which has gone out of fashion (except apparently in steampunk subculture). Around a decade ago I visited Switzerland and in a watch shop saw various models of wristwatch-sized pocket watches (both in a pocket watch housing, and mounted onto a leather backing instead of a wristband) that were apparently in fashion with some motorcyclists (carried in little denim "5th pocket"). So you could get away with disguising your token in such a housing (and affecting some eccentricity).

In a stretch it could also be disguised as a (non-functional) smart watch. Flip up the face to reveal the token.

I for one however am appalled that a society would use such an antiquated and still easy-to-steal security device (or they could at least have made it out of tungsten, titanium, cobalt, platinum, or some such). As 007 showed us in Spectre, even a small innocuous ring with an engraved octopus can still be pulled off its newly-deceased owner and used to gain entrance to the highest level meeting. Not a good idea. Perhaps your society should consider something more modern like a subdermal microchip implant which can implement the whole public/private key spiel, even without the need to keep a members' list on a central computer, and potentially making the bouncer's job easier or even redundant.

Answer 4

Given the size and (presumed) rigidity of your membership tag, and your criterion that there can't be a trail such as a neck chain (dog tags don't really stand out, and a lot of folks who exercise regularly carry a car key and/or house key that way), many easy hiding places are ruled out. Protection against pickpockets makes the task harder still, nixing a wallet or just carrying loose in a pocket.

Needing to be able to show the item on short notice, and restow it quickly and easily, further narrows things down. If you're willing to go to considerable effort and expense, you might be able to have a body modification shop create a skin pouch (say, on one of your pectorals) where the outline of the item would be covered by your body, but the pouch would be accessible through an open shirt collar (not so good for black tie, but fine for shirt and trousers).

Otherwise, if your mouth is big enough (might be marginal, depending on the harshness of the item's corners and edges) you could conceal it in one cheek (preferably inside a protective covering to prevent corrosion and irritation of cheek and gums). More accessible, no more available to pickpockets, and probably cheaper than a skin pouch. This one would be greatly simplified if your item were just a little smaller.

Failing in-body methods, modification of your pants to give an access hole inside one pocket would allow a man to store an item this size inside jockey shorts or bikini briefs, in the perineal area. The doorman probably won't want to touch it if you store it here...

Answer 5

I have a pair of trousers with a tiny pocket on the right front with the "entry hole" just below the belt. I carry my house key in there. It's a tiny bit difficult to fish it out of there, but it's pretty much impossible to lose it or to have it stolen.

Why not get inspired by that? For the size you're saying you might want to store it horizontally - wide but low pocket - for comfort. Any semi-decent tailor will modify a pair of trousers that way in a blink. Either it can be just below the belt, or to trade a bit of ease for more security directly under it.

It might stand out a little bit, but if you keep a set of keys/phone/handkerchief/... in the main front pocket below it, nobody will notice (they would also need to look directly at your crotch, which most people won't). The only other problem I can see is if you're very fat with a big belly overflowing over your belt - then it will be better camouflaged, but more difficult to pull out.

Answer 6

You could sew pockets into the inside of your sleeves and put the object there. It would be impossible to see without turning your sleeve inside out, and therefore impossible to pickpocket. Of course, you would have to do this for every item of clothing you wear with the object.

Answer 7

Armpit is your friend :) If you don't have to put your hands up in the air along the day, just stick it in your left armpit if you are right-handed or the opposite.

Answer 8

Body modification
To be extreme you can always insert it under your skin.

Pros

• Can't be pickpocketed / You can't lose it
• Easily hidden (even in plain sight)
• Access is relatively easily!

Cons

• Cannot "just remove" it.
• Might feel uncomfortable? (Never had body modifications but I did have a plate in my arm [broke it] and that felt uncomfortable at times)

Answer 9

An object of the size you describe cannot be hidden on the body unless it mimics a prosthesis. You could hide it in an accessory such as pair of , Buff, gloves, hat, socks or shoes if that is compatible with your character.

If your monolith was smaller it could be part of a pair of glasses or hearing aid.

Answer 10

Looks to me like a wallet Sized item, but you said it should not be "PICKPOCKETed", so what about a modification to your shoe sole (or snicker ) you could carv a slot big enough to fit your item, and conceal the slot with same sole material, something like this http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mp3-shoes.jpg