How to keep pee from splattering from the toilet all around the basin and on the floor on old toilets that are really low and have deep water?

Question

Modern toilets are oval shaped and longer front to back than side-to-side. They use less water in the basin and are taller. That means modern toilets give you two advantages over old toilets in order to reduce splattering:

1. The toilet being taller means your pee has less energy as it strikes the surface of the water since you are closer to the water since the toilet is tall (physics reminder: potential energy due to gravity, as your pee exits your body, = m*g*h (mass x gravity x height)), and
2. having less water in the basin and a differently-shaped basin means you can aim your pee at the inner sidewall of the basin to keep it from splattering. i.e.: your pee strikes the angled porcelain instead of the water, leaving very little if any splatter on and around the toilet.

But, I live in an apt. with an old toilet that is super short to the ground with deep water and no place in the bowl where I can pee onto the porcelain instead of into the water. I'm a clean guy, so after each pee there is water splattered all over the place, from the rim to the seat to the inner part of the seat lid to the floor, and so I clean it up with about 10 squares of toilet paper... each and every time I pee.

In summary, the problems with my toilet which increase splattering from the old-toilet shape include:

1. deep water--more splatters
2. no side-wall porcelain I can pee on--so I pee into the water where it splatters
3. low toilet (high kinetic energy for my pee as it strikes the water) --> more splatters

How can I reduce this splattering?

I thought about sitting and have done it a couple times, but that's just a pain-in-the-butt. It takes so much longer than standing.

This is a serious question. I'm going through a lot of clean-up toilet paper just from peeing. I'd like to save more trees.

Answer 1

The classic method for this is simply to sit down to pee.

This virtually eliminates splashing, and any that does occur is trapped below the seat. Only the bowl itself and the seat need to be cleaned; the floor/rugs/etc. never collect any splash at all. I know men who (by report) routinely do this in their own homes to reduce the required cleaning.

Answer 2

You've got to slice the Gordian Knot differently. Pee in the sink.

Answer 3

My hack is not to pee into the toilet bowl but into a plastic jug, which you can then pour into the bowl from a low height.

Rinse and repeat.

Answer 4

Of course, not forgetting that this is lifehacks after all, I vote you consider some gadgetry:

• Get a funnel, a length of hose, some good quality self adhesive sticky pad cable tie base pads and a pack of cable ties

• Secure the funnel and hose to the wall, funnel opening at.. er.. waist height, and lead the hose into the toilet

• If it's a plastic hose, like a typical garden hose, you can warm the hose if you want to bend it to a tighter radius, and hold it bent while it cools

• If you don;t want the hose flopping around in the bowl, you could use something like one of those disintectant toilet block things to secure the hose to at the toilet end, so the hose output end is a short distance from the bowl side

• Keep a squeezy/squirty bottle of disinfectant surface cleaner close by the funnel

• Ensure there are no u-shapes in the hose (where pee can stand and collect/smell)

• The toilet seat can fold down and the hose sits in the gap - no more arguing over lifting the seat

• Ta-da! a "poor man's urinal"

Now, you can pee a short distance into the funnel and have your pee communicated directly to the toilet bowl. A couple of squirts of the disinfectant after the job is done should keep everything reasonably sanitary (or at least, smelling that way :) )

Answer 5

Normally, I'd suggest adding a square or two of toilet paper in the bowl. This is the same hack I often use when pooping (experimental analysis has shown this to be effective). But it sounds like one or two won't suffice in your case.

So how about dropping 5 squares of toilet paper onto the water surface before peeing? Or even 10? You're using that much anyway to clean up, and I'm pretty sure it will significantly reduce splattering even in your bowl.

If that still doesn't work, try bundling all the pre-pee squares of TP into a single area of the bowl and aim consistently at this "cushion":

Answer 6

This is NOT a bepee-all-end-all answer. So, please, by all means, provide more.

Kneel. If you're tall, kneel on the floor or a floor mat in front of the toilet. This brings you closer to the water, cutting your pee's kinetic energy roughly by the proportion you decreased your height.

For me, I'm too short to kneel on the floor and still reach the toilet. So, I kneel on a stool. It seems to decrease splattering some. Maybe I use 5 squares of toilet paper to clean splatters now instead of 10.

Looking for more answers, but this is a start.

Here is my toilet and kneeling stool.

Note: all the black marks in the center of the toilet are scratches on the porcelain where the finish is rubbed off--likely from a toilet snake tool used over the years to unclog the toilet (this is an old apartment toilet). The ring around the toilet at the water line? Yeah, that's grime that should be cleaned. That part comes off easily with a brush when I clean it.

Answer 7

I use the kneeling appartus too, but mine is more comfortable with a cushion on it, and I use it elsewhere as well, like when I wash the bottom of the bath tub.

Answer 8

Sit facing the tank, a reverse sit down, and pee. I go to the toilet a lot during my sleep, this way I can lean on the wall because I'm so tired.

Sitting down works better when your trousers are easy to remove. At night I can drop my pajamas with no costs. The trousers I use during the day came off nearly as easy.

Bonus: no pee splashes in your trousers

Careful not to fall asleep on the toilet, but no shame if you do.

Answer 9

Just a little heads up and friendly warning: when the distance between the toilet seat and the water is short (typical in old toilets) and the penis is longer than average, this might result in it taking a dive in the toilet water.

So while the answers suggesting to sit are fine, please keep in mind the above, especially if you have a partner.